


One-Sided

by Harukami



Series: For The Birds [2]
Category: DRAMAtical Murder
Genre: I'd feel bad tagging this Koujaku/Aoba but that's kind of in there too, M/M, Multi, may contain trace amounts of unrequited puppy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-07
Updated: 2014-02-07
Packaged: 2018-01-11 11:40:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1172640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harukami/pseuds/Harukami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beni and Huracan (Tori)'s relationship continues in a very one-sided manner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One-Sided

"Let's try kissing," Beni says one day, quite unprompted.

They have met online fairly regularly in the couple of weeks since that first time. Beni hangs out with Ren like this sometimes too, he says, but it seems strange to be counted among Beni's friends regardless of circumstance. Huracan has asked Ren about it before, and Ren had simply shook his head and told him that it was probably just as well that they were finally getting along. Whatever that meant.

Still, they certainly haven't been doing anything that would lead to kissing and Huracan, at least, is sure that he has not shown any sign of any desire to become closer to Beni than he already is, or, in fact, any desire to be even this close. He is fairly sure he has advertised the opposite: No, I don't want to know you. Your life, such as it is, is over there. Mine is over here. 

He supposes it's his own fault for continuing to come online when Beni asks, though. Does that make him comparable, he wonders, to Koujaku, with his calls twice a week and his sickeningly wide smile.

"Must we?" Huracan answers, put-upon.

"If you don't want to we don't have to," Beni says, and shoves him. 

There's an out that would be easy to take. Huracan sees it in front of him and hesitates. Because, of course, he would like to. It's absurd to want to; this isn't real. The only reason allmates online have any kind of sensory reaction is to respond to their users when playing rhyme together: to enjoy being healed or certain move sets in order to advertise the success to the human player, and also to be able to take damage in a way that's gratifying to the opposing human player. They aren't intended to be used for the allmates' own sake, because such a thing doesn't truly exist. They were programmed even to have this much autonomy to be enjoyable to their user, to be like a 'real person' and a 'real pet' at once, so even their autonomy is not, itself, an inherent or personal trait, simply a performative behavior created for the sake of actual people.

But regardless of its intent (is it possible, Huracan wonders, to take such a thing regardless of its intent?) they do have desires of their own, and thoughts of their own, so long as they do not run counter to their users' needs. Regardless of its reality (is it possible, Huracan wonders, to take that regardless as well?) contact is something it's easy to desire. Contact with Beni is something that he should not, by any sense of it, actually desire, but there it is. He does. He wants to.

It's a terrible idea.

"What brought this on?" he asks instead of answering. "Has Koujaku been up to something?"

"This has nothing to do with him!" Beni says, his hair actually puffing up a little. "Why would it have anything to do with him? Don't be ridiculous?"

"If you don't like seeing the things he does, you could simply go into sleep mode, Sparrow."

"Whatever, stupid Bird! That's not it at all!"

Isn't it, Huracan thinks mildly. But it's something to do with Koujaku, because to Beni, everything seems to have something to do with Koujaku. Still, instead of pushing it, he says, "If you want to see what it feels like for him, I'd let you experiment on me."

"What kind of answer is that?" Beni shrills in his face, but shifts closer regardless.

So it's going to be like that, Huracan thinks, and half-closes his eye as he leans in to kiss him.

He's seen it often enough, although -- for rather obvious reasons -- he's never had the occasion nor inclination to do it himself. He's seen how enjoyable it is, and while he expected the sensation to be rather removed from how nice it seems to be for others, he is shocked by the intensity of it. Beni's lips are pouty and soft and while there's no hot breath to touch his own mouth he gets a sensation of wetness from Beni's tongue as it darts out to press between his lips.

Ah, he thinks after a while, with a sort of resigned amusement. Of course. There would be people who want to do with other things with their Allmates in online form than just fight, wouldn't there? Too bad for Beni that his master isn't one of those.

Huracan lets out a sigh, just a soft breath of air, and tilts his head, pressing closer.

The kiss deepens with a sensation on body parts he knows he doesn't have, tongue twining with tongue, and they curl together, reclining on their sides. He can see the feathers of his hair draped on the red of Beni's clothes, the white of his arm, bare where his sleeve has fallen back as he reaches to clutch Huracan's shoulder. Muscles which don't exist -- there isn't truly anything under this skin; there isn't truly skin -- twitch in Beni's arm where Huracan watches it from the corner of his eye.

Beni pulls back and there's a wet sound in his voice. "Do you want to go on from here?"

"I can't imagine you do."

"That's not a no, you jerk, does that mean you do?"

"Don't flatter yourself," Huracan says. He reaches out to cup Beni's cheek, slides his hand back into the stiff bristling feathers that make up Beni's hair. "But I'll take your wants, tiny Sparrow."

"Bastard," Beni says, gritting his teeth and smiling and scowling, like he doesn't know what his mouth is doing. "Take them, then."

They have intercourse -- Huracan can't really think of it as sex, and it's not fucking, and it's certainly not making love -- in an awkward, unpracticed way, mouths moving on each other and hands groping, feeling out unfamiliar body parts that don't match the reality of their day to day existence. Huracan makes himself stop thinking about that, about the sheer absurdity of this entire interaction, makes himself just focus on what he is doing, on watching the tick of what looks like tendons under his hands as they spread on Beni's chest after taking his clothes off. He looks at their contrasting skin tones, feels the softness of skin under his touch, tastes Beni's mouth as they kiss, moves against him in quick, sharp movements. They grind against each other in a sort of compensation for the kissing, grind unsatisfactorily until he reaches down and cups Beni and strokes him, and then Beni touches him as well, so they end up jerking each other off. It feels good, unnecessarily good, good in that strange way he hasn't quite been able to interpret, good like it's the closest he'll come to what a human would feel, good like Beni is doing this to him. How embarrassing. What a mess, he thinks, eating at Beni's mouth.

Beni comes first, biting down on Huracan's lower lip; it causes a jab of pain that brings reality down on him and he comes as well feeling the sting from his lip almost more strongly than the sense of orgasm. Who programmed that? he wonders, vaguely. Who was the realist who looked at human nature and thought that they should make sure they could fuck their allmates if they really wanted to, if they really tried?

They lie together in a tangled way. Beni is breathing audibly; Huracan doesn't bother.

Discomfort slowly creeps in. It hits them both; Huracan can tell Beni is feeling some sort of guilt or shame or embarrassment by the way he starts to shift, pull away. He closes off his own reaction, smiles instead.

"Good for you," Huracan says. "It seems that everything works, so perhaps someday things will work out for you."

Beni goes offline like a shot, and Huracan thinks that he should feel guilty, but can't manage to; there's too many things he's already telling himself off for.

He goes offline as well, stirs as his consciousness shifts back properly into his allmate form, opens his eyes as he hears Aoba and Mink talking nearby.

"--said he doesn't expect anything, he just... wants me to know his feelings?"

"Mm," Mink says, noncommittally.

"I --" Aoba sounds hurt, in a resigned sort of way. "I don't know what to do? I mean, he knows how I feel, but..."

Mink sighs. "Listen. I'm in no position to comment on this, under the circumstances. What you do is your choice -- whatever you do is. But is there a reason to not take his lack of expectations at face value? Hiding what he's feeling... he doesn't seem like a man good at that."

"No... I know he isn't."

Huracan gets up and flies into the next room, finding Ren sitting by the door, pretending not to eavesdrop. He settles in next to him. "What's this about?" he asks.

Ren sighs. "Koujaku confessed that he has been harboring romantic feelings for Aoba," he says. "I believe Koujaku to mean what he said, that he just wanted to get it off his chest and doesn't expect anything to change, but..."

"But...?"

"Aoba has difficulty not wanting to be everything for everyone," Ren says, after a momentary silence. "If it were me, I wouldn't say anything to him, in order to avoid such a conflict. I'm surprised Koujaku didn't continue keeping his silence -- I wonder what prompted such a confession?"

Huracan has some idea what may have done so. There's someone who hasn't let Koujaku ignore his feelings for Aoba, after all. "I wonder," he agrees, and lets the meaning of Ren's other comment go by unremarked. He's caused enough trouble by interfering in this sort of thing lately, he thinks.

"Huracan. You have become friends with Beni lately, have you not?"

"Something like that," Huracan says.

"Has he tried to contact you? He wanted to talk to me earlier," Ren says, a bit guiltily. "But Aoba needed me then. And since then, he hasn't replied to me at all."

And like that, everything falls into place. He should have realized, he thinks, but perhaps on some level he already had. 

"I would just keep trying to get in contact with him yourself, Ren," Huracan says. "You are a better friend to him than I am."

"I see," Ren says. "I will try."


End file.
